UFO GOT ME!

Igotprobid: Hey Parabob! 

Parabob: OH GOODY! ANOTHER FREAK! 

Igotprobid: So like a UFO probed my asshole and shit what do I do. 

Parabob: Why you all say and shit? Like that's my thing and you all say it now to be cool? 

Igotprobid: Man so there I was just chilling in my backyard at 2:00 in the morning you know like what normal people do and shit. 

Parabob: You said it again fool! 

Igotprobid: So I was like damn whats the shiny bright light coming towards my ass. Little did I know it was really coming for my ass! 

Parabob: And shit? 

Igotprobid: So the thing picked me up and I think it was an UFO man! I tried to telling the police but they all laughed at me and said get the fuck out of here we dealing with a overdose crisis right now! 

Parabob: I see. 

Igotprobid: DUDE! They did all these weird experiments to my anal cavity! 

Parabob: Like what were you doing at 2 in the morning outside? 

Igotprobid: I was walking my fucking dog man! 

Parabob: Ah! Good one so at 2 in the morning, I like how you mention that earlier too about the dog. So 2 in the morning a big shiny bright light comes, picks your ass up and does shit to your ass! Am I correct so far? 

Igotprobid: Yeah man I SAW A UFO! 

Parabob: Not only did you see it but you were in it? 

Igotprobid: Yeah man! They did weird shit to my ass man! 

Parabob: Hmm. Okay so like what you want me to do or like why did you message me? 

Igotprobid: Just to let you know I saw an UFO and they are real! Plus everybody like message parabob because it pisses him off! 

Parabob: Yeah. I see. The UFO was not a UFO are you sure you weren't popping molly at 2 in the morning and what you mistake as a UFO somehow, someway was a white van and you were gang raped by a bunch of white people and mexicans in a weird cross united Gang called the SetaWhitez. Then you woke up from a dream that you were abducted by a UFO but really it was just a gang bang because you accidental got roof'ied at 2 in the morning? 

Igotprobid: OH MY LORD! YOU ARE LIKE DOCTOR PHIL OF THE PARANORMAL COMMUNITY MAN! I LOVE YOU BOB! THANKS SO MUCH BOB! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BOB! 

Parabob: Itz what I do > 

YOU A GLITCH? Matrix?

Nomemz: YO! PARABOB! PARABOB! PARABOB! PARABOB! YO! PARABOB! PARABOB DUNA DUNA DUNA PARANORMAL BOBO BOB! 

Parabob: Oh god. I say that alot man. Like God come on kill me now. 

Nomemz: So like I have a glitch! I was driving and I went through the same sign twice! 

Parabob: Are you sure you weren't lost? Like panicking and shit like you always do when you get lost in the country?

Nomemz: Naw man I went through that shit twice! 

Parabob: Are you sure? You sure you didn't do a square loop because you are so dumb?

Nomemz: HA! You got me I might of did a loop because I am dumb. 

Parabob: Well like remember that time you put covers over, wait didn't you cheat and shit was that a glitch? 

Nomemz: Big time glitch! 

Parabob: So when you cheated and now wait it's a glitch now? 

Nomemz: Not only a glitch but a big time glitch. 

Parabob: You know he a cop now? 

Nomemz: That was a glitch too. 

Parabob: The fuck is up with you and glitches? 

Nomemz: Everything a glitch! 

Parabob: Like do you even know what a glitch is and where it originated from? 

Nomemz: Yeah man, the Matrix! 

Parabob: fuck no, what the fuck! 

Nomemz: You just jealous because you have no glitches. 

Parabob: Yet you message me to help you pass through these glitches? 

Nomemz: No I messaged you because I don't know how I am going through these glitches and I want you to tell me why am I going through glitches. 

Parabob: WHAT! 

Nomemz: I went to McDonalds the other day and I went through the drive through twice. The second time I ordered different shit but that's besides the point. 

Parabob: You think that was a glitch? 

Nomemz: Um yeah I went through it twice you dumb ass. 

Parabob: So did you like graduate college or did you glitch out? 

Nomemz: I glitched out. 

Parabob: Interesting. SO this glitch you are experiencing are you sure you not dumb as a ton of bricks? 

Nomemz: I don't drink or do drugs! 

Parabob: The fuck that gotta do with how smart you are? 

Nomemz: I think I am not going through glitches, it's called real life. 

Parabob: WOW! You got it! You just googled Matrix advertising information or something and found out that if there is a theory behind a movie that was produced by Hollywood then it would generate revenue and more money? 

Nomemz: The fucks google? 

Parabob: Never mind. Anyway I am glad you found the real reason behind this so called "Glitch" but that's awesome I think 4 thousand views of eyes I don't even know the eyes.. OR where they coming from and shit because they never talk is a good thing, don't you think? 

Nomemz: Thanks PARABOB! I mean thank you so much! I thought I was glitching and shit! 

Parabob: Itz what I do > 

DEMON IN MY DAUGHTER!

Mothergoose: Hello! Is this Parabob The Paranormal Investigator?

Parabob: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat....UP?

Mothergoose: My daughter is like possesed by a demon or something?

Parabob: How you know this?

Mothergoose: She's sticking the Crucifix in her pussy?

Parabob: She just on her period mam.

Mothergoose: She fucking came downstairs backwards and pissed on the floor! In front of my FRIENDS!

Parabob: Yeaaaaah right. Put a maxi-pad on that shit!

Mothergoose: No joke! She just twisted her head around! We need to get this demon out of her! 

Parabob: You see women go through this thing called puberty, she's just acting out, she bleeding from her vagina right? When she fucked herself with a Crucifix? Yeah.

Mothergoose: She told the priest that his mother sucked cocks in hell!

Parabob: You should not lot her watch them Rated R movies mam!

Mothergoose: Are you a joke or something?

Parabob: I know a thing or two about women, mam she has no demon in her! She just going through some things, all women do it.

Mothergoose: I never twisted my head, walked backwards or none of that stupid shit she is doing and I have no clue how she is moving objects with her fucking mind! Can you help me now?

Parabob: Hell no contact some medium or something!

Mothergoose: What kind of advice is that?

Parabob: I don't want your haunted dolls!

Mothergoose: I never said anything about haunted dolls?

Parabob: Seek the one they call Katcrap a rona something like that normal.

Mothergoose: It says do you mean "Paranormal"

Parabob: shit. I forgot she about as smart as a tree.

Mothergoose: What we talking about?

Parabob: Bitch! Just throw some damn holy water on that bitch and tell that demon to get out of your daughter and stop playing games and go back to fucking hell where it came from and then face the fear it brings and you win.

Mothergoose: Oh thanks

Parabob: No prob, itz what I do >

HOT CAM WHORE!

HotKizz: WHAT UP BABE! 
Skeeter: What up! Did I find the good chat room or something! I am new to this! 
HotKizz: This is what I do! 
Cee41nokidz: SHUT THE HELL UP AND SHOW US YOUR TITS!
Skeeter: The hell is his problem, hey buddy what the hell is your problem talking to my lady like that!?!?
BlackLCock: Yo man that's yo lady dawg? 
Skeeter: Yeah? 
BlackLCock: AH SHIT DAwG! 
Skeeter: What? 
BlackLCock: Damn you be tapping that? 
Skeeter: naw man just like we met online and stuff. 
BlackLCock: OH SHIT DAWG you getting played dawg 
Cee41nokidz: Holy shit this kid! 
Skeeter: What you guys mean? 
HotKizz: Don't mind them Skeeter let me boot them real quick. 

Cee41nokidz and BlackLCock has been removed from conversation. 

HotKizz: Now where were we, you know you have one of them credit cards? 
Skeeter: The fucks a credit card? 
HotKizz: Oh um. Do you live with your parents? 
Skeeter: NAW MAN! Well yeah my Dad. 
HotKizz: Your dad? 
Skeeter: Yeah he lives off the government and benefits and shit he got shot in Iraq. 
HotKizz: I see do you know where he keeps his wallet?
Skeeter: UM? In his fucking pants? 
HotKizz: Do you think you could get the wallet? 
Skeeter: The fuck I need a wallet for? 
HotKizz: You have to give me the digits off the plastic card he has which is a magical number that makes me show you my tits. 
Skeeter: WHAAAAT? 
HotKizz: Yeah that's why he puts it in his back pocket right? 
Skeeter: YEAH! 
HotKizz: Yeah he's protecting it from you man he don't want you to um know the secret plastic card code trick that lets you see tits because he don't want you to see tits. 
Skeeter: DAMN HE SAYS THAT ALL THE TIME! SON! WHY THE HELL YOU LOOKING AT TITS! YOU ARE RIGHT! 
HotKizz: Go get that fucking plastic card now and tell the world that you want to see some damn tits! 
Skeeter: I'll be right back. 

HotKizz: You still there? 
Skeeter: I fucking got it yo. 
HotKizz: Alright so now to be my boyfriend, wait do you want to be my boyfriend? 
Skeeter: HELL YEAH! 
HotKizz: OK! OK! To be my boyfriend give me them sixteen digits and the three numbers on the back so I can unlock the code. 
Skeeter: The code to what?
HotKizz: It's a secret and it will make you see tits. 
Skeeter: AH FUCK YEAH my Dad a major asshole for keeping this secret from me. 
HotKizz: Yeah! So what's the 19 digits? 
Skeeter: 1874207776974327174
HotKizz: Hot diggity damn son you are a blessing. 
Skeeter: CAN I SEE SOME TITS NOW? 
HotKizz: Hold up. 

HotKizz has removed you from conversation. 

Skeeter: The fuck! Oh well I just watch porn I guess. 

What You Talking Bout MAN

SonnyJim: Why you make the crappiest photos I ever seen online?

Hamilton: To seek the Dragon you must first find the smoke! 

SonnyJim: The fuck? 

Hamilton: If we can all think about how many people will save the baby from being burned alive and dying in a bowl of pudding we can all save the sugar from grace. 

SonnyJim: Are you just saying fucking words again? 

Hamilton: If I shoot this arrow and hit the moon would that mean I would of missed the cloud? 

SonnyJim: The fuck is a cloud? 

Hamilton: Young brother, if you come with me, I can show you the cloud. The cloud brings us water and it brings us life from that water. 

SonnyJim: You been smoking that shit again bruh! 

Hamilton: It will save you. Some people say the Water is Holy and you will be saved from the water, are you saved my brother! 

SonnyJim: Man this is prolly not the time to ask for my loan you owe me like $500 dollars you cock sucker what you talking about fucking water for? 

Hamilton: If you look up in the sky you will find your money as it rains money now for what I have heard on the radio. 

SonnyJim: This is why you have no fucking friends at all man. 

Hamilton: If we make it rain money we could be very rich my brother. 

SonnyJim: Are you fucking serious right now? 

Hamilton: If we believe in the system we could be Spiders and not the flies! 

SonnyJim: So what the fuck did you smoke and how much of it do you have left? 

Hamilton: Oh no! Me don't smoke, me give people tasks to complete so I can plan my World Domination of becoming the first ever male stripper to dominate the world all in order of the United of the Unite. You get me? 

SonnyJim: No! NOT AT ALL! I don't get one word you fucking say, talking about sugar and shit then it's fucking rain and money and rain and then it's fucking what the fuck World Domination? 

Hamilton: If you live to see the clouds of the truth and you go over to the rock and you say to the ROCK I will smoke you and I will sling you but I will never drop you in a way that will crack you. The rock will be your best friend! 

SonnyJim: That's just fucking it right there. You have fucking lost it ever since the bitch broke your heart. You don't even fucking talk the same like you use to. I have no fucking clue what you are saying. You just typed up a paragraph up about a fucking rock man, what the fuck! 

Hamilton: It will be Judgement day soon for the people that oppose the rock! 

SonnyJim: Ok man, look I am going log off here and drink some beer or something it's like Saint Wank the Jank day and I feel like getting drunk for the fuck of it and specially after I read all the bullshit about clouds and rocks. You need to like go grab a cold one yourself. 

Hamilton: One must not damage his temple for his temple is good. Damaging the Temple is bad. 

SonnyJim: Mother fucker you have lost it! 

Chatz3: Little Razcalz

Alfpoop: WHAT UP THIS IS THE CLUB TO BE in. 
Spanky: This is "our gang yo" 
Alfpoop: Yes sir 
Spanky: So Mr. Oil Tybafoon is now our president! 
Alfpoop: Yes sir! 
LiLRose: Hey Guys! 
Spanky: FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO GIRLS! 
Alfpoop: Damn man, chill man. 
Spanky: NO GIRLS IN OUR CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Porky: What up bitch! 
Alfpoop: Whoa! Whoa! 
LiLRose: Guys I have huge news! I am not a women! I am a man trapped in a womens body known as a transgender so may I join your gang? 
Alfpoop: AH  HELL YEAH! 
Spanky: What! Hell No! 
Porky: It depends you have a dick or a pussy? 
LiLRose: I am a man trapped in a women's body so therefor I have a snatch! 
Porky: Shit! 
Alfpoop: That seems A-OK with me! 
Spanky: Hold on! Froggy what the hell you gotta say! 
Froggy: I think we run a train on this women then she can join! 
Spanky: The fuck? 
LiLRose: What's run a train mean? 
Alfpoop: Oh God, I think that sounds like a GREAT idea! 
Froggy: Yeap, yeap, yeap, yeap. 
Spanky: Well I am the prez so I say no! 
Alfpoop: What come on, we all going get some and nobody going make fun of us because she like a girl but like a man. Right? 
Porky: So it's like a girl-man or a man-girl? 
Alfpoop: I don't know! What are you rose? 
LiLRose: TRANS...GENDER! 
Alfpoop: I still have no clue what that means! 
Spanky: Man I say we run a train, I like Froggy's idea! All in a favor of Froggy's idea to run a train on this transgender women that's really a man but is gay that wants to join our club and has to run a train to get in, Say I! 
All: I! 
Spanky: Well then that's settled. Alright! let's meet at the club house! 

[BOY TIMEZ HAVE CHANGED WHY YOU TRYING TO CENSOR MY PENIZ] 

>

SANTA ON STRIKE??

SanAgent: Yo man you can't do this to me Santa!
SaintNik: I don't want to deliver presents any more! 
SanAgent: You do it once a year! How hard is it! You have an elf army that helps you build all the toys! 
SaintNik: I am not going this year! North Pole is on Shutdown! 
SanAgent: The hell is wrong with this new generation? 
SaintNik: We won't be operational no more because the green elfs are arguing with the red elfs about our gun policy so we shutting it down! 
SanAgent: The fuck you have a fucking gun issue in the fucking North Pole for? 
SaintNik: I don't know how these things happen man! I don't do shit until I get called to do shit and I have to deliver like a billion gifts in one night it takes the life out of me! 
SanAgent: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
SaintNik: Not to mention all the fucking cookies I have to eat I wonder why I haven't rolled over and die the trick is to puke every once and a while and I don't want to do that! 
SanAgent: Santa for real you just need to calm down. How the hell did the Elfs get guns? 
SaintNik: NRA? 
SanAgent: There's a fucking NRA in the North Pole? 
SaintNik: Maybe! 

Toothfairy HAS ENTERED CHAT 

Toothfairy: Guess what guys! I agree with Santa! I am no longer going collect teeth! 
SanAgent: See what you created Santa? 
SaintNik: We tired of working for these damn kids! 
SanAgent: That's the saddest shit I ever heard in my life for real and I swear.

Cupid HAS ENTERED CHAT 

Cupid: Yo guys! I decided to join the shutdown and I will no longer be shooting arrows at people anymore for I am on strike!
SanAgent: The fuck is wrong with all of you! 
ToothFairy: You go collect the teeth asshole! 
SanAgent: Look I would if I had wings and fucking magic but I don't OKAY! It's my job to make sure you guy's are doing your job and so far I see a bunch of fucking cry baby quitters! 
SaintNik: Hey man you want to go direct that sleigh with all them egotistic asshole magical reindeer! Be my guest! 
SanAgent: I would Santa! IF THAT WAS MY FUCKING JOB! I DON'T HAVE THE MAGIC TO GO DOWN SOMEBODIES FUCKING CHEMNEY AND DELIVER THEM GIFTS! 
SaintNik: Well you better find somebody we all on strike! 
Cupid: You know what! That sounds swell! Lovely and very heartfelt! I think I am going lay on a cloud all day and smoke weed and just watch people down below make mistakes and try to fall in love without me! YEAH! 
SanAgent: You all just going quit your jobs? You will be replaced!
SaintNik: HA! Good luck finding a fatass like me and has to be jolly through out the whole season as I have to go through a fucking naughty and nice list to see who gets what! 
SanAgent: Man this new generation is just lazy! 
SaintNik: Dude fuck you! I just want to be on my Iphone all day and listen to old tracks of Rage against the Machine! Candy Crush! Hell yeah Candy Crush! 
SanAgent: Come on Santa! Don't you think others want to be play Candy Crush too??
SaintNik: Fuck them! 
Cupid: Yeah man fuck this! I am going to lay on a cloud all day.

CUPID HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION! 

SanAgent: Well shit where in the hell am I going find anybody to deliver gifts, collect teeth and shoot arrows for couples to fall in love I think I am screwed! 
SaintNik: Yeah good luck with that! I think I like Cupids Idea but I am going just lay in bed and roll blunt after blunt that's how Santa gets down the chimney! IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! Then play some candy crush! 
SanAgent: Tooth fairy come on let's go get them teeth and deliver some gifts and find a way to create Cupid arrows somehow someway without formulas or magic but anyway lets go! 

TOOTHFAIRY HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION! 

SaintNik: Ah shit man low battery man I have to go! 

SAINTNIK HAS LEFT THE CONVERSATION! 

SanAgent: What the fuck kind of Generation is this?


Boogie >

Ghosts That Tell Time

BINGO: We Got Another one folkz! 

Ry: The fudge is this chocshit! 
Noon: Welcome we are the "Ghost Of Time"
Ry: What?
MidNight: We are the ghost that tell you the time! 
4:20: Yeah we tell you what time it is! 
Ry: Why the hell would I want that? 
Noon: We tell you the time because we are the Ghost Of Time 
Ry: Okay, so am I going to go through something? 
MidNight: No! We tell you what time it is and the time to put you on. 
Ry: What the hell does that mean? 
Noon: What he's trying to say is we tell you what time it is for we are the Time Ghost of the Ghost of Time. 
Ry: Why me? Why does this always happen to me? 
11:11: Sup Ry I am the Ghost of 11:11 and I tell you what time it is and you can make a wish! 
Ry: The fuck! 
11:11: Make a wish and it will come true for I am the greatest time of all time! 
Noon: I don't know about that, for one I think your full of shit, for two I think I am because it's break time or something is going to go down in the Wild Wild West.
4:20: Man what the fuck ever! I am the best time, it's chill time yo!
MidNight: Hell no kids are in bed and it's time to get freaky! I am the best time ghost of all time for I am the time that most crime happens too but that's beside the point of bang bang!
Ry: Y'all just argue all the time or I am going see my future or something? 
4:20: No man just chill out. 
Noon: We told you we tell you the time! 
Ry: So I am not going see some future shit or past shit? 
11:11: You can make a wish and I will send you to the past or future on my time! For I am the coolest time ghost! 
Ry: Oh okay? 
Noon: Man shut the fuck up with that bullshit wish shit. We just tell you what time it is for time was created by man which goes in a sequence of measurement from night to day. 
Ry: You all just wasted my time! 
Noon: Ha! Good one! But really though it's noon aint it? 
Ry: So like is there a Moral Lesson or something here? 
4:20: Naw man we just tell you what time it is! 
Ry: That's it no lesson at all? 
4:20: Naw man we just tell you what time it is. 
Ry: Wow! 
4:20: Yeah man! 
Ry: ACT LIKE YOUR SOMETHING! 
4:20: I am time. 
Ry: This has been a complete waste of my fucking TIME! 
Noon: HA! Welcome to the RyFy Zone! 
Ry: Ah! You dead beats got jokes? You going tell me the time? 
Ry: I will tell you what time it is, it's time to hack you ghost!
4:20: Wait we were just playing bro! 
Ry: WHAT? 
4:20: Chill out bro just chill out 
Noon: Yeah man we just tell you what time it is why you getting all hostile?
Ry: I'm sorry I am just overwhelm with this Jelly sauce on my hotdog. 
Noon: Man! What didn't you tell us you had Jelly on your hotdog!
MidNight: You a fucking legend! 
Ry: Naw man I think I am going die! 
4:20: Yeah man you will be a Ghost like us man! 
11:11: Yeah chill out man, make a wish! 
Ry: You know what I wish for wealth!
11:11: Alright here you go. It's 11:11 about to be 11:12!
Ry: The fuck? 
4:20: HA! GOT EM! We the Ghost that tell you what time it is! 
Noon: Yeah man almost break time! 
Ry: When I die I am going pound you Ghost so hard I will be on trial for raping ghost! 
MidNight: Hmm, Well it's midnight bro! Thanks for wasting 12 hours with the Ghost Of Time! 
Ry: SON OF A BITCH! 
4:20: Yo man chill, 4 more hours we get to chill man! We the Ghost Of Time and we the Ghost that tell you what time it is. 
Ry: Why me?