Johne C Messages His Agent

Johne C: AH SHIT! Who's the Coolest! 

ERAgent: Oh JC good! Glad you messaged me! First I want to go over some ground rules in the Earth Realm. I hate to break it to you but you can't just go around uppercutting women. 

Johne C: Why the hell not! 

ERAgent: People have rights in the Earth realm you know that! 

Johne C: So nobody settles their differences in a combat match to the death anymore? 

ERAgent: NO! 

Johne C: The fuck is this shit!?!?!

ERAgent: JC times have changed. You can't call women names or hurt their feelings and you DEFINITELY can't knock their head off their shoulders then put your damn glasses on like you are posing to the camera or something! 

Johne C: Why the hell not? 

ERAgent: Like I said before, people have rights, times have changed. Another thing. Kickball is not doing the splits and punching somebody in the nuts then yelling "I don't kick balls I punch them!" while you do the move is unacceptable as well. 

Johne C: Well hell send me back to Outworld then! 

ERAgent: I am afraid I can't do that. 

Johne C: Why the hell not? 

ERAgent: The Outworld doesn't exist. 

Johne C: So let me get this straight, I can't hit anybodies head off their shoulders, I can't split punch the nuts and now you are telling me I am stuck in this pussy soft world where nobody challenges each other to Mortal Kombat.

ERAgent: I am afraid so JC. 

Johne C: Damn! They didn't create sucidiality! 

ERAgent: The fuck is wrong with you! 

Johne C: This fucking sucks, I can't do shit in this crummy ass Earth realm. 

ERAgent: You can relax and never fight again? 

Johne C: Fuck that! 

ERAgent: Well I don't know JC what to tell you. 

Johne C: Hold on one second bro. 

ERAgent: What the hell you doing? 

~10 Minutes Later~ 

Johne C: Hahaha hey! 

ERAgent: Oh good your back so we have a understanding now? 

Johne C: Guess what I just did? 

ERAgent: What? 

Johne C: There's this bridge that connects to the end of our town and I went up to some random person and I was like "HEY YOU!" I Challenge you to MORTAL KOMBAT! Then I yelled "FIGHT!" I split punched him in the nuts and when he bent over I delivered a uppercut to his jaw and sent his body flying for a "Stage Fatality". Told me I couldn't MK here oh yeah buddy! I just did it! 

ERAgent: Great now you are going to prison! 

Johne C: The fucks that? Is that like Goro's lair or something?

ERAgent: WHY ME!!!!!!!