Johne C Messages His Agent

Johne C: AH SHIT! Who's the Coolest! 

ERAgent: Oh JC good! Glad you messaged me! First I want to go over some ground rules in the Earth Realm. I hate to break it to you but you can't just go around uppercutting women. 

Johne C: Why the hell not! 

ERAgent: People have rights in the Earth realm you know that! 

Johne C: So nobody settles their differences in a combat match to the death anymore? 

ERAgent: NO! 

Johne C: The fuck is this shit!?!?!

ERAgent: JC times have changed. You can't call women names or hurt their feelings and you DEFINITELY can't knock their head off their shoulders then put your damn glasses on like you are posing to the camera or something! 

Johne C: Why the hell not? 

ERAgent: Like I said before, people have rights, times have changed. Another thing. Kickball is not doing the splits and punching somebody in the nuts then yelling "I don't kick balls I punch them!" while you do the move is unacceptable as well. 

Johne C: Well hell send me back to Outworld then! 

ERAgent: I am afraid I can't do that. 

Johne C: Why the hell not? 

ERAgent: The Outworld doesn't exist. 

Johne C: So let me get this straight, I can't hit anybodies head off their shoulders, I can't split punch the nuts and now you are telling me I am stuck in this pussy soft world where nobody challenges each other to Mortal Kombat.

ERAgent: I am afraid so JC. 

Johne C: Damn! They didn't create sucidiality! 

ERAgent: The fuck is wrong with you! 

Johne C: This fucking sucks, I can't do shit in this crummy ass Earth realm. 

ERAgent: You can relax and never fight again? 

Johne C: Fuck that! 

ERAgent: Well I don't know JC what to tell you. 

Johne C: Hold on one second bro. 

ERAgent: What the hell you doing? 

~10 Minutes Later~ 

Johne C: Hahaha hey! 

ERAgent: Oh good your back so we have a understanding now? 

Johne C: Guess what I just did? 

ERAgent: What? 

Johne C: There's this bridge that connects to the end of our town and I went up to some random person and I was like "HEY YOU!" I Challenge you to MORTAL KOMBAT! Then I yelled "FIGHT!" I split punched him in the nuts and when he bent over I delivered a uppercut to his jaw and sent his body flying for a "Stage Fatality". Told me I couldn't MK here oh yeah buddy! I just did it! 

ERAgent: Great now you are going to prison! 

Johne C: The fucks that? Is that like Goro's lair or something?

ERAgent: WHY ME!!!!!!!

   

We The PEEPLE #3

Redwingz: WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ UP PEEPS Thank you for viewing this shit. 

BlueToothz: Nobody views this shit! 

PuppetMas: I am afraid that they do lol! 

BlueToothz: Rest In Peace Florida! Never forget ~17~ 

PuppetMas: Oh yeah, lets talk about gunz then!

BlueToothz: Its not about "Gun Laws" I am not with the libtards on this one! 

Redwingz: AHGDHFAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH did you just call your own party libtards? 

BlueToothz: Cry babies, snow flakes, political correct, giving Iran over hundreds of millions and they don't even like us anymore! 

Redwingz: Welcome to the Patriot side, you know the side that won the Civil War. 

PuppetMas: Ouch! 

BlueToothz: I am still liberal! 

Redwingz: That's a damn shame! I thought you were the one! 

Timmy: YO GUYS! How you all doing! 

Redwingz: Yo you red or blue son. 

Timmy: Why did you call me son am I your son or something? 

Redwingz: Answer the question! 

Timmy: I think I love green because it pays for food which makes me survive in this World. 

PuppetMas: This kid smarter than I thought! 

Timmy: What's this shit you can't sag anymore, what would Jesus do? 

BlueToothz: Hold up did you just mix religion with politics? 

Timmy: Yeah I can't do that? 

BlueToothz: Hell no! What the hell is wrong with you! 

Timmy: What's up with our money and our state and government saying "In God We Trust" 

BlueToothz: You ever heard of the Cold War?

Timmy: No, I was in a whale during that time! 

BlueToothz: Wait. What? How old are you? 

Timmy: I remain a boy forever because of the fairy from never never land. 

Redwingz: You going fine plummers and shit for sagging?

BlueToothz: It's a stupid law. Instead of making our kids safe and contributing to a better and safe society we pull this monkey wrench shit! 

Redwingz: I swear! New World Order coming soon. 

BlueToothz: What you mean coming? It's already here and ruling! 

PuppetMas: Finally you two have awaken! 

Timmy: What the hell are you guys talking about? 

PuppetMas: You have to learn a bunch kid, first I advise you to go to YouTube and learn as much as you can and try to get in the Deep Dark Web or just the Dark Web when doing that collect information of evidence how this World is really ran. 

Timmy: Sounds dangerous! 

PuppetMas: I say do it after surviving a whale. 

Timmy: What's this pokemon shit people talk about? 

PuppetMas: Don't worry about it. Supreme Court blocked the DACA ROKA Dreamer beamer script! 

Timmy: The hell is a dreamer? 

BlueToothz: People that are born in the USA by either illegal or legal citizens from other countries. 

Redwingz: I say build a wall and ship them all out or we going learn the fate of falling like LONDON. 

BlueToothz: LOL Here comes the Red-White-AND-BLUE Jack The Ripper. WINK WINK! 

Redwingz: America full of psycho doctors! You know what I love Trump! He would of went in that School! 

BlueToothz: I respect Trump for saying that. 

PuppetMas: Word. That's a true brave patriot. Even though he's EGO sometimes get's the best of him. 

Timmy: Why did people vote for Trump? 

Redwingz: Because Hillary was a joke and a corrupt palliation, not the mention the fact that she caused Benghazi death of our fallen heroes. Not to mention shes crooked and should be a Republican the more I think about it lol. 

BlueToothz: You can have her lol. 

PuppetMas: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Timmy: I see. So there was not much of a choice huh? 

PuppetMas: Nope! 

Timmy: I see what's up with Weed being legal in some states and some states it's still illegal. 

PuppetMas: Our system is fucked up lol. 

BlueToothz: Our GOV fucked up. Our FBI fucked up. They trying to re-do our amendments. What the hell is this CHINA? 

Redwingz: Naw Trump hates CHINA. 

PuppetMas: CHINA! IS IT MORE THAN RICE AND SHIT! FIND OUT AT SIX! CHINA! 

Redwingz: China bad, their smog killing people!

Timmy: Well aren't guns killing us? 

Redwingz: Naw what's killing us is stupid pharmencials and not treating threats and clear messages of violence in many sources and many tips. The FBI is lazy and the GOV is just as lazy. They all in it for one thing.....GREEN. 

Timmy: Aren't they suppose to represent the people?

BlueToothz: Yeah. Bernie is prolly the only one that loves the people but people hate him because he's a socialist and is idea of equality is much different opinion then these redneck inbreeds out there lol. 

Redwingz: Its the PEOPLE that kill people and fuck the NRA! I hate the NRA! 

BlueToothz: I am down with the NRA also!

Timmy: Whats the NRA? 

PuppetMas: The most stupidest organization that ever existed in the USA besides hate groups that pop up like old moles that need to be hammered with the power of love! 

Redwingz: I agree. What's funny is a republican being a supporter of the Confederate Army. Which you are being liberal when your a conservative. 

BlueToothz: I'll take it we are cry babies but your party is the most corrupt richest dumbest party that ever ran in the USA! 

Timmy: Man you tarts are smart! 

PuppetMas: It's what we do, it's what we do. 

BlueToothz: SHIT MAN! Guess what! 

PuppetMas: WHAT! 

BlueToothz: Repeal on NN! Goodbye haters! 

Redwingz: HELL YEAH! 

Timmy: GUYS! I think I finally got a boner! I know what a boner is! 

Redwingz: Who the fuck is teaching this kid this shit!? 

BlueToothz: Everybody should know what porn is man! YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY GUNS OR PORN! 

PuppetMas: We seriously all need help lol. 


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Doc Talez! You Died In Y2K!

Doc: We have a new one yo! We unfroze him as he was frozen and now he is awaken! 


Ychild: whAT UP DOC! 


Doc: Oh good you can type! 


Ychild: What the hell is this? 


Doc: This is how we communicate as a society now! 


Ychild: What? 


Doc: See everybody has a cell phone now! 


Ychild: Wait! WAIT! THIS A PHONE? 


Doc: Yes! 


Ychild: What the fuck! 


Doc: Now, listen there's been many changes in 18 years! 


Ychild: OH SWEET! Flying cars and shit! 


Doc: Um no. Wait. No. 


Ychild: What the fuck happen? 


Doc: Alright listen the President is Donald Trump.


Ychild: WAIT! The fucking president is Donald Trump?


Doc: Yes he won the election against Hilliary Clinton. 


Ychild: A fucking woman ran? Fucking bills wife what the fuck did they get a divorce? She become independent and badass leader that's not corrupt? 


Doc: Um just the opposite. 


Ychild: WHAT THE FUCK! 


Doc: Okay. Other changes we have a liberal half black, half white president named Obama. 


Ychild: Why you fucking with me? 


Doc: Um this is true. 


Ychild: Next you going tell me we engaged in a bunch of wars and blew the world up? 


Doc: Um, well no. However terrorist hijacked some planes and flew them in the twin towers and Ben Ladin took credit for the hijacking on a event we now call 9/11. 


Ychild: What the flying fuck is going on DOC! YOU HAVE TO  BE KIDDING ME! 


Doc: Yeah. I am afraid I am not. We going build a wall soon to keep the "Drug Cartels" out of America. America has a gun problem also with a bunch of mass shootings. 


Ychild: Oh did columbine set off a WAR? 


Doc: Um no. Well you see after 2008 things went sour and a bunch of scams were created and now student loan debt has passed credit card debt. 


Ychild: And you fucking woke me up? 


Doc: That's the thing I had to. We have no more funding coming in to keep you frozen. 


Ychild: WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FUCKING KILL ME?!??!?!


Doc: Um, well. You have like human rights and you are a American citizen so. 


Ychild: This fucking sucks! I want flying cars and shit and the video games were suppose to be man what the fuck is this shit! I fucking hate this shit! This fucking nurse is pissing me off! 


Doc: Um well I will see you soon. 


Ychild: I am going to watch some classic honeymooners and maybe just maybe pow right in the kisser to the nurse. HAHA you get me DOC? 


Doc: Um well. technically people are now political correct and the phrase of "pow right in the kisser" to a woman has been banned due to the fact he promotes domestic violence.


Ychild: FUCKING KILL ME NOW DOC!

  

I Gotta Sex Doll FOR VD!!!!!!!!!!!

~Cry me a river~ 

Ryalbino: YO Dudes guess what! 

BigKnox: This better be good. 

Ryalbino: I gotta SEX DOLL!! for Valentines Day! 

BigKnox: That's a huge upgrade from chocolates and cards fa show homie!

Ryalbino: The best part I don't have to feed it or listen to it's bullshit!

BigKnox: That's nice.

Ryalbino: I was like yo! She didn't even said a freaking WORD! I was like this is going be nice!

BigKnox: You need help my homie.

Ryalbino: Well you know what sucks. She gets sticky and sometimes I gotta clean her up.

BigKnox: Ah man! She don't clean herself up like a lady would?

Ryalbino: That's the only bad part dawg. 

BigKnox: Sometimes I wonder if you even human.

Ryalbino: I asked her if she wanted to go Mickey D's and guess what! She didn't say NOTHING! NOTHING! So I took that as a yes!

BigKnox: So she don't even talk?

Ryalbino: THATS THE BEST FEATURE ABOUT THIS THING MAN! 

BigKnox: I wonder if you can marry it!

Ryalbino: WAIT! WAIT! Let me google it.

BigKnox: LOL It was a joke.

Ryalbino: I have to go to Japan!

BigKnox: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You google that shit my homie?

Ryalbino: Man It's like for once, finally, in my life everything is falling in place!
 
BigKnox: Marrying a sex doll has always been a fantasty of yours or something?

Ryalbino: NAW MAN! Wait.....yes!

BigKnox: What happen to magazines and porn online?

Ryalbino: BORING! Now I gotta program her to clean and cook and I will be set. IF she can wash herself off it will be the best thing ever!

BigKnox: It's like I don't know you anymore!

Ryalbino: Man the best part of this! I can claim her as my Taxes. How much money she make? Well I can put her ass on the corner and collect some money! I CAN BE A PIMP! Pimp of the Sex Dolls! 

BigKnox: Man you have like lost touch with realty my homie.

Ryalbino: Wait! It gets better! I can take her out to eat be like TABLE for two MOTHER FUCKER! 

BigKnox: You would take your sex doll out to eat?

Ryalbino: WELL Yeah I aint just going bang it bro. She is allowed to go out in public bro! We watch Netflix and shit and guess what SHE DON'T SAY A WORD OR FART!

BigKnox: Uh okay.

Ryalbino: Yeah BUDDY! No talking! No Farting! I think I am in serious love bro! 

BigKnox: You are actually scaring me.

Ryalbino: BRO! This is like the best thing that has ever happened to me you should be proud of yo homie!

BigKnox: I think you a lunatic bro and like if you serious right now I don't know what else to say bro.
Ryalbino: YO! Chill out man ride the waves man. Hit the magic wizard pipe and let your heart fly man! LET YO HEART FLY MAN!

BigKnox: Man! I don't know you anymore this RyFy Zone shit has really changed you man.
Ryalbino: You know what the best part is, I forgot to tell you about this part. I never have to worry about her cheating on me bro. 

BigKnox: Ugh

Ryalbino: BRO! She will never cheat on me unless somebody steals her and then I will be on a mission to find her! 

BigKnox: So like

Ryalbino: BRO! Another thing I never have to worry her telling my secrets to people she doesn't talk at all!

BigKnox: Secrets?

Ryalbino: Man another thing we be playing video games and shit and she never ever gets tired or tells me I am wasting my life playing video games!

BigKnox: BRO! Seriously!

Ryalbino: Oh another thing she never gets on messenger and shows her body to other men!

BigKnox: ah man. I think it's time to kill you.

Ryalbino: Naw man the sex doll is like a terminator I forgot to tell you that! She can transform into a terminator!

BigKnox: Well, hmm I have no clue what to say bro

Ryalbino: Just be fucking happy for me bro this has been a long time cumming. 

BigKnox: alright bro. Congrats. I am happy for you, so what's the honeymoon plan?

Ryalbino: THATS JUST IT! She don't wanna go on a honeymoon she just wanna bang! BANG! BANG! BANG! I always ask if she wanna bang and she always SAYS YES! CAN you imagine never being turned down or having to do something stupid like kill a dragon or something to get the NOOK? THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

BigKnox: Well I gotta get off here homie, wifey calling me.

Ryalbino: HA! See! You a whip bitch! Ight bro have fun with that human piece of shit and I am going bang my doll now.

BigKnox: Later homie!


Ryalbino: PEACE OUT HOMEFRY!   

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

DynoDannyFanny: DDF is the name! 

CeeAraha: The one and only! 

MalcomZ: What's cracking you undermine children of the world.

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL RYFY ZONE STYLE WHAT! 

MalcomZ: What up y'all. This day is cold for some but hot for others that live in Miami, Flordia. 

CeeAraha: Correcto Mumbo! We bringing the Justice! 

DynoDannyFanny: You know guys. We in some deep sea with a bunch of sharks and whales. 

CeeAraha: shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! This bitch got it. Mirror Mirror! 

MirrorMirrorOnTheWall: Hello, I am Mirror Mirror On The Wall. Nice to meet you. 

Ceearaha: whatever bitch, tell me who the baddest bitch of them all? 

MirrorMirrorOnTheWall: You are dear. 

CeeAraha: You damn right! I brings it when it comes to that bringing it stuff. Well unless it's a rent due or something, I don't bring it then, I kind of go in the hole a little bit. 

MalcomZ: You gotta rise above diversity and seize the opportunity by the day.

CeeAraha: The secret member I think is one of the past.

MalcomZ: you are wrong! The answer will come soon.

CeeAraha: Mirror Mirror On The Wall who's the dumbest one of them all?

MirrorMirrorOnTheWall: According to my calculations the dumbest person alive is the common thief.

CeeAraha: That's some deep stuff.

DynoDannyFanny: Man screw that shit, let me ask it a question.

DynoDannyFanny: Ight here I go

DynoDannyFanny: Mirror Mirror On The Wall! Who's got the biggest balls of them ALL?

MirrorMirrorOnTheWall: You do sir!

DynoDannyFanny: YOU DAMN RIGHT! Now I must nut on the mirror to make it clear!

MalcomZ: Whoa! I don't think we have to go that far bro.

DynoDannyFanny: I have to make it clear!

MalcomZ: Bro think about it, The mirror made it clear. It's alright.

DynoDannyFanny: Naw man I gotta show this mirror waz up.

MalcomZ: By nutting on it?

DynoDannyFanny: Aint nuttin he going do about it either!

MalcomZ: you need help bro.

DynoDannyFanny: I need help, you just stood for 20 hours out in the rain over a boarding pass that never existed in the first place!

MalcomZ: What you talking about?

DynoDannyFanny: I'ma nut on this mirror whenever you like it or not. I aint got NUTTIN to lose!

MalcomZ: you trying to be funny or something?

DynoDannyFanny: When a Mirror comes along all you gotta do is NUT ON IT! oh yeah! What do you do? YOU NUT ON IT! When a mirror comes along!

MalcomZ: CeeAraha I mean you okay with this?

CeeAraha: If the white devil man wants to nut on the mirror let him nut on the mirror, why would I give a fuck?

MalcomZ: The hell happen to this Earth man?

DynoDannyFanny: Don't hate the nut on the mirror! DON'T HATE THE NUT ON THE MIRROR! OH BABY! DON'T HATE! DON'T HATE! THE NUT ON THE MIRROR!

MalcomZ: Man this new generation has totally lost it.

DynoDannyFanny: Don't hate the nut on the mirror! Oh baby! Don't hate! You don't have to say anything about the nut on the mirror!

MalcomZ: Man mankind is really taking a step backwards.

DynoDannyFanny: DON'T HATE! Ask it a question!

MalcomZ: Alright, I'll do that!

MalcomZ: Mirror Mirror On The Wall Who's The Nuttiest Of Them All!

MirrorMirrorOnTheWall: The DynoDannyFanny is the most nuttiest person on the Earth.

MalcomZ: damn straight skippy hippy hoo!

DynoDannyFanny: It just wants my nut!

MalcomZ: Shit I am going to bed!

DynoDannyFanny: There aint nuttin you going do about me nuttin on this mirror man. Sweet Dreams!

MalcomZ has left conversation!

CeeAraha: So like are we getting started here or something.

DynoDannyFanny: It was a fucking joke!

CeeAraha: What the fuck I thought you were serious!

CeeAraha Has Left Conversation

DynoDannyFanny: Sike! We begin now.

We The PEEPLE #2

Click Here To View The First One

Redwingz: It's about time we raise damn flag called MERICA! 

BlueToothz: Here we go again. 

PuppetMas: That damn Paul Stall!!! 

BlueToothz: Hold it. You talking POLA now? 

PuppetMas: It's about damn time we take our country back! Screw this woman! We can talk about sex later! 

BlueToothz: Um Is that the Merica Spirit? 

PuppetMas: You betcha damn USD it is. 

BlueToothz: Okay then. Real issue. The market meltdown. 

Redwingz: What! Obama did it! Obama made that mess. Okay real issue here is Uranium and how it was sold to the Clinton campaign. 

BlueToothz: What the hell you talking about? 

Redwingz: Damn Clintons took millions from Moscow and shit! DAMN THEN! 

BlueToothz: So it's okay to take a half of million dollars from the Koch Brothers that are worth billions? 

Redwingz: Where the hell you hear that dumb shit? 

BlueToothz: That's the problem you stuck on one channel aren't you and don't even lie to me! 

Redwingz: Hell no I read that damn newspaper like everyone else. 

BlueToothz: What newspaper? 

Redwingz: YOU KNOW! The one that comes in the MAIL! Dammit dude you need to read the newspaper more! 

BlueToothz: Um I do read the newspaper everyday. 

Redwingz: That's a damn shame you don't know what's going on then you must be stupid. 

BlueToothz: It's sad what happened to Porter and it's sad that they are removing good citizens that is not their fault how they got here. 

Redwingz: Naw man. That's where you are wrong! They are illegal! Get them out! 

BlueToothz: What if they provide more than the average citizen? 

Redwingz: GET THEM THE HELL OUT OF HERE! 

BlueToothz: So an "another" Shutdown is in order. You know Trump said "Shutdowns are the LEADERS fault when he was bashing Obama right? In interviews and on Twitter right? 

Redwingz: That's fake news they make his mouth move and synthesize his voice and make screen shots of false tweets for the great Donald Trump! 

BlueToothz: Man you have lost it. What you think PuppetMas? 

PuppetMas: Oh sorry guys I was just watching hub. 

BlueTootz: See that's the problem right there. Instead of fixing these issues everybody just wants to go to the HUB and "RELIEVE" Their stress. This is why Merica in a mess because of this "hub". 

Redwingz: ah man you even going complain about the HUB you a snowflake man. GO cry somewhere else with that bullshit. The HUB is our safe haven.

Timmy: What the hell is a HUB guys?

Redwingz: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

PuppetMas: I thought it was just us?

BlueToothz: Now what the hell is going on.

Timmy: Hi guys I am Timmy. I was stuck in a whale because it ate me. The whale kept me warm and now here I am!

BlueToothz: ugh. I think we need a break.

Redwingz: Damn ass DEMS think they know it all with their dumbass ideas and them DEMS don't know shit.

Timmy: Ummmmm. Guys? What's a dem?

Redwingz: I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS WHY THE NEW GENERATION IS FULL OF FUCK TARDS!

PuppetMas: They out their killing themselves and eating tide pods and shit. Yeah this new generation sucks!

Timmy: I just asked a question! I been living in a whale all my life!

Redwingz: Man no, this is crazy. This kid gotta go.

BlueToothz: Oh no!

Redwingz: WHAT!?!?!

BlueToothz: somehow, someway! I can't boot him!

Redwingz: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!